My Dad's Military Honor Service

We planned a Military Honor service for my Dad at the 

Tahoma National Cemetery. 

Our children all wanted to attend. They did not like the idea of having no kind of memorial for their Grandpa. 

I was very relieved that Corinne and Fred organized it.

Fred and I flew out of Las Vegas. We took a late afternoon flight so we had all day to get ready. We parked at a hotel and took their shuttle to the airport. There were no other riders with us. 

We got to the hotel very late - Scott and Jess were walking in right ahead of us. That was fun and totally not planned. Our rooms were next door to each other and Corinne's room was three rooms down.

All of us made our own plans. Shannon visited two of Brian's family members and then stayed the night with Elizabeth Spurlock in Port Orchard. On Sunday we drove over to Bremerton and met up with Shannon. Shannon and I wanted Taco Time. We miss it. There is just something so delicious about Taco Time in Washington state. 

Unfortunately all meals were eaten in the car. No restaurants were offering dine in.

I got my favorite - Chicken Taco Salad. 

The three of us drove around Bremerton and Silverdale. Stopped in to visit with Gerry and Linda Nyland for a little bit. Then we drove Shannon back to Elizabeth's in Port Orchard to pick up her car. Here we are together in her home.

We got to meet her fiance Brian. He seemed wonderful and we are so happy for Elizabeth.

Monday morning it was quite beautiful out although pretty chilly. I was happy to see the sun. The day Dad passed away it was gloomy and cloudy. This made up for that. We were all staged in our cars to follow a golf cart back to the covered area.

 We were brought to this nice covered area. The program was surprisingly so lovely. I did not have high expectations, but it was so appropriate and Dad would have felt honored. I know I did. Two Navy soldiers folded and presented me with this flag. 

The Navy Chaplain shared a few words and poems that were just right.

There was the gun salute and a bugler that played Taps.

This cemetery is quite beautiful. You can feel a reverence throughout.

Everyone was so respectful and involved in placing the flags for their Grandpa.

It was so nice to watch them all participate.

Fred is the one who thought bringing flags to decorate the grave would be a good thing to do. It was perfect.

Jess picked out some flowers from Pike's Place Market to decorate the grave. That was another perfect touch. Here is our family.

Corinne and Ben brought their children. They involved Grandpa in so many of their activities and had him in their home a lot. 

Scott and Jess were able to leave their boys with her sister Kristin and her family. That worked out perfect so they had time for Scott to be tour guide and show Jess around his childhood places.

Here we are.

Shannon came solo. She enjoyed visiting with Brian's family and a couple of her best friends from childhood. We all had a wonderful time together.

Isn't this just right? The kids all did such a great job displaying the flags and flowers.

Mom and Dad's gravesite is right off the road which is convenient so we don't have to walk through too many other sites to get to them. The headstone will be placed soon.

After the service, we had Jimmy John's deliver lunch to the hotel. It was nice to be able to sit and visit and enjoy eating NOT IN A CAR.

Garrett made a colossal mint oreo cookie.

Scott and Jess and Shannon had to head to the airport. We offered to take Corinne's family on the Great Wheel on the Seattle waterfront. It's their birthday gifts this year. 

Taking a picture of taking a picture.

It was beautiful up there.

Corinne's family took off to visit a couple of Ben's siblings so we drove around. Fred wanted to drive in the new tunnel along the waterfront.

I wanted to drive up to the temple. It was spectacular the way the sun was shining through the clouds and illuminated the Temple.

We stopped and picked up Panera for dinner back at our hotel room. Fred went out and bought us some ice cream at Wal Mart. After this big trip, we are headed to better eating habits so we wanted to live it up. 

It was such a wonderful weekend to spend with our children and part of our grandchildren. Nothing could have been better. I'm so thankful that we were able to honor Dad with this weekend of celebration.

I never knew

I've been so disappointed and frustrated than no one ever posted any comments on any of my blog posts. Well my friend just told me she makes comments, but they never appear. I went in and discovered I have to approve them all. What the heck. I never knew that. Now I need to go back and read them all. Thank you to all who have made comments. Now I will regularly check them.

Since I'm on here I'll make a quick post about my Dad passing. It doesn't feel real at all. It was so sudden and unexpected. He was so excited to move out of the Veterans home to live with a good friend as a couple of bachelors. The mobile home he was sharing with his friend was in desperate need of repairs. He had a list made up of everything he wanted to do.

He moved in the weekend of Thanksgiving and called me about 10 days later complaining that he just felt like giving up. He was not interested in even getting out of bed or making his breakfast. He had jumped right into a vigorous and physical project and figured he had just overdone it and was worn out. When he is down physically, his emotions tank. Then a few days later he said he needed to move back to the Vets Home because he could see now that moving out was a mistake. The Vets home required a COVID test which came back positive and he had to quarantine for 14 days. The next day he lost his balance while in the kitchen because his head was so dizzy. No eating or drinking will do that. That landed him in the ER. All his bloodwork and XRays came back clean, but he was very dehydrated and the ER doctor wanted to transfer him to a Rehab facility. Within a couple days of that, he was even more despondent and didn't want to even fight to get better. Monday the 21st he entered the center and Tuesday the 29th he asked for Hospice to come. He died very early Thursday morning the 31st.

His earthy possesions are spread between our home and the home he shared with his friend. He basically has a bedroom full of things which I'm so grateful for. I can't imagine having a house full of possessions. This is enough. He has been receiving 4-5 pieces of fan mail daily since he moved to the Veterans home in May. It had begun to dwindle the last couple of years. Right now Dad had received 36 fan letters dated back to November 17th. I have drafted up a response that should be appropriate to send telling them that my Dad has passed. 

There is a teacher back in Connecticut who has reached out to my Dad for a few years to participate with his students for Veterans Day each year. He would skype into a school assembly to talk about his WWII experiences and answer questions. The students would make cards and shower him with attention and honor. A big envelope arrived from this teacher for Christmas and was filled with 15 handmade greetings. My Dad never got to open it. This is what makes me sad. He was such a positive force and influence on so many people who didn't even know him. These people expressed their admiration and gratitude for his service to his country.

We aren't holding any service for him. He requested that we not. He said he received all the accolades and attention during his lifetime, he didn't need anymore in death. It's a relief, but it does seem kind of sad. He will be buried in Washington state at the Tahoma National Cemetery where my Mom is buried. Fred and I, Corinne and her family, Shannon and Scott & Jess will be coming to the graveside service that Corinne and Fred have planned. I told them I just couldn't do it. 

I feel regret that I didn't do more with my Dad. I wish I had visited him more while he was in the Veterans home. He was always so independent and happy doing his own thing. I didn't feel like he needed me to be there all the time. At this very moment, I'm just so grateful that he is in Paradise with my Mom and all who he loves on the other side. Whatever was difficult or disappointing, now it doesn't even matter.

Thank you all for being my friends and family. Life is precious. I've got to do better.

Mini Christmas in Phoenix

We invited ourselves to Scott's since we didn't get there for Thanksgiving.

I asked Jess if maybe we could have a mini Christmas while we were there.

I also asked if she could make Fred a Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie for his birthday.

She happily agreed.

Our first night there, we were presented with our very own Christmas Pajamas.

It was such a surprise and both Fred and I really love our new jammies.

Mine fit perfect, just the right amount of warmth and super cuddly.

I think Fred looks like one of the boys in his thermal shirt and pants. 

 I just kept looking at him thinking how youthful and cute he looked. 

Fred was able to enjoy some bonding time in the morning with all the boys while we girls slept in. I love listening as their big man voices carry through the house.

These boys sure are blessed to have a Daddy that loves spending time with them. Scott gets them breakfast and just spends time with them. Graham held on to this football the entire time we were there.

We held a mini Christmas morning opening our gifts to one another. I'm so glad we did this. A little practice for the boys to get the hang of taking turns.

Evan and Graham were very good at unwrapping, taking turns and showing enthusiasm for their gifts.

Jess picked out this remote control car set for Fred. It was fun watching Evan play with it and Fred and I took a turn too. We need to get it back out and try it at home. It was a perfect gift.

It was a very nice morning.

The Daly men bonding time.

Another picture of Fred in his new jammies. Oh and Jess included

 matching socks for both of us.

In the afternoon we took Evan down the street to the park. 

I decided to be adventurous. 

 

At the park was a family from their ward so Evan had some kids to run around with. Graham was sleeping so we spent some time with just Evan.

He speaks so much clearer now so communicating with him was so much enjoyable.

 Evan seemed to be very comfortable with us. Not one bit hesitant to cuddle up next to either one of us. I love this picture. He certainly is a sweet little boy.

Here are food pictures from our visit. We had a nice big breakfast after opening gifts. Scrambled eggs with ham, sausages, toast, homemade strawberry jam, and homemade cranberry bread. Very fancy!! And yummy.

I should have taken a picture of the pie before we dug in.

It was beautiful and delicous.

For years Joy Abbey would bring us this Christmas Bread. I got the recipe from her, but never tried to make it. Jess was game for bringing one of our traditions into our visit. The recipe makes it sound pretty simple, but I think it's pretty intricate. Jess added some orange zest to the glaze.  That was yummy. That bread is simply the best ever.                           

Time for goodbyes..
We made big progress with Evan this trip. He didn't have any trouble being with us.
Graham didn't mind us a bit either, but he's not quite ready to be in our space.
We like to let the grandkids go at their own pace. When they are ready, we're ready.

So this was so nice for both boys to willing come up and give us both a very nice goodbye hug. 

A perfect time together.

Rearranging

Here are some highlights of the past month. I don't have any pictures so this will just be a report.

Before my Dad moved to the Veteran's Home, he had been up to  Salt Lake and brought home boxes of his younger brother Jack's. They were filled with pictures and documents etc.... and Dad wanted to post them all on Family Search. He entered the Vets Home before he was able to return them. I got in touch with my cousin Ali and she arranged for me to take all of this to their former neighbor who agreed to store them until she could make a trip there from Oregon. 

Fred and I drove up on a Friday night to Provo. On our way we stopped in Cedar City for a Del Taco dinner. We ate in the car. While I munched on my churro, a chunk of my baby tooth broke off. It left a very sharp edge. It was annoying all weekend. We stayed the night in a hotel in Provo that night. The next morning we met Craig and Lynette in Sandy for breakfast at Big Bear Diner. After breakfast, we drove the three plastic tubs to their neighbor. We stopped at a DSW shoe store and I bought two new pairs of shoes. I've decided my feet deserve comfortable shoes and the cost is no longer an issue for me.

When we got home on Saturday night, I took a nail file and filed off the sharp point of my tooth. That made things so much better. I got to the dentist on Thursday and it was decided that I needed a crown on that tooth. Dr Baker did a better job than Smiles Restored did on my other crown a few months ago. His office was able to make the crown the same day. My jaw was sore for a couple of days. 

 My Dad called Fred one day and asked if we still had the box for his tv. Fred asked why - are you moving? That is how we found out that after all these months it was finally determined that he could not afford to live in the Vets home.  Last weekend when I locked my keys in my car when I went to visit Dad, I ended up waiting for Fred at the little restaurant across the street from the Vets Home. There I met Tomas who knows my Dad from their days as ordinance workers in the temple. It just so happened that Tomas and my Dad had been talking on the phone and Tomas offered him a bedroom in his home. So that is where Dad is moving. He made no indication that moving back with us was a consideration.

So next Saturday he is moving in with Tomas. A nurse at the Vets Home said she would like to help him move and she has a truck and trailer. Fred and I went on Saturday to meet Tomas while he had a window visit with Dad. We drove Tomas to his home (mobile home) so we could see it. Tomas does not have a car. He rides his bike and also lives on the bus route. His home is very humble and I mean that in a nice way. It is a single wide and it is crowded. He is Mexican so it definitely has that feel to it. Dad's room is smaller than his room at our house. He and Tomas feel confident that they will get along just fine. Dad says it's like meeting a new missionary companion. I would say this mobile home definitely fits that category. Tomas feeds seven stray cats on his porch. The home is old and the yard is a wreck. It's obvious that Tomas is busy at work all the time. He has two jobs. Four days at Harmon's grocery and two days at the Icebox restaurant. I thought he was the owner of the Icebox when I met him last week.

I'm definitely concerned whether my Dad will be able to do this. Tomas talks non-stop. I hope it works out because Fred and I have switched gears completely. They do not include my Dad. Of course, if it comes down to him coming back we will do that. I honestly don't think he wants to.

We are in constant motion with planning for our new home. Yesterday Fred sat down and made me these scale maps of our livingroom and bedroom in the new home. He can visualize things by marking our current home with blue tape to see how things fit. I told him that I can't do that. So he made me these paperdoll models to play with. This is how I think things will fit. The bedroom does not allow for much different. The livingroom probably has lots of options.

Our two little end tables don't really have a place to go. I think at least one of them I'll put by my bedstand in the bedroom. I need more space for my night time stuff. I really didn't want to set the couches in the middle again. I think it makes the room look and feel crowded. The piano is the extra furniture piece that hogs up the wall space. I'd like to just have the reclining love seat and a sofa. If we can get rid of the little loveseat - that would open things up. 

So now we are in the organizing and purging mode or I should say Fred is. We are both talking retiring sooner than we had planned. Like maybe next October for me. Fred by this spring. Fred will need at least 6 months to really get things done. We need to get the backyard finished. He has the office, garage and the hall closet to go through. We want at least three months to do all the things we have wanted to do, but haven't because we haven't had enough spare time. I'm tired of getting up at 6am and going to work. I've almost been feeling like I want to quilt or do sewing projects. How scary is that??? 

We shall see how things unfold in the next little while with my Dad. See if it will really work out for him living with Tomas.