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Sunday, January 10, 2021

I never knew

I've been so disappointed and frustrated than no one ever posted any comments on any of my blog posts. Well my friend just told me she makes comments, but they never appear. I went in and discovered I have to approve them all. What the heck. I never knew that. Now I need to go back and read them all. Thank you to all who have made comments. Now I will regularly check them.

Since I'm on here I'll make a quick post about my Dad passing. It doesn't feel real at all. It was so sudden and unexpected. He was so excited to move out of the Veterans home to live with a good friend as a couple of bachelors. The mobile home he was sharing with his friend was in desperate need of repairs. He had a list made up of everything he wanted to do.

He moved in the weekend of Thanksgiving and called me about 10 days later complaining that he just felt like giving up. He was not interested in even getting out of bed or making his breakfast. He had jumped right into a vigorous and physical project and figured he had just overdone it and was worn out. When he is down physically, his emotions tank. Then a few days later he said he needed to move back to the Vets Home because he could see now that moving out was a mistake. The Vets home required a COVID test which came back positive and he had to quarantine for 14 days. The next day he lost his balance while in the kitchen because his head was so dizzy. No eating or drinking will do that. That landed him in the ER. All his bloodwork and XRays came back clean, but he was very dehydrated and the ER doctor wanted to transfer him to a Rehab facility. Within a couple days of that, he was even more despondent and didn't want to even fight to get better. Monday the 21st he entered the center and Tuesday the 29th he asked for Hospice to come. He died very early Thursday morning the 31st.

His earthy possesions are spread between our home and the home he shared with his friend. He basically has a bedroom full of things which I'm so grateful for. I can't imagine having a house full of possessions. This is enough. He has been receiving 4-5 pieces of fan mail daily since he moved to the Veterans home in May. It had begun to dwindle the last couple of years. Right now Dad had received 36 fan letters dated back to November 17th. I have drafted up a response that should be appropriate to send telling them that my Dad has passed. 

There is a teacher back in Connecticut who has reached out to my Dad for a few years to participate with his students for Veterans Day each year. He would skype into a school assembly to talk about his WWII experiences and answer questions. The students would make cards and shower him with attention and honor. A big envelope arrived from this teacher for Christmas and was filled with 15 handmade greetings. My Dad never got to open it. This is what makes me sad. He was such a positive force and influence on so many people who didn't even know him. These people expressed their admiration and gratitude for his service to his country.


We aren't holding any service for him. He requested that we not. He said he received all the accolades and attention during his lifetime, he didn't need anymore in death. It's a relief, but it does seem kind of sad. He will be buried in Washington state at the Tahoma National Cemetery where my Mom is buried. Fred and I, Corinne and her family, Shannon and Scott & Jess will be coming to the graveside service that Corinne and Fred have planned. I told them I just couldn't do it. 

I feel regret that I didn't do more with my Dad. I wish I had visited him more while he was in the Veterans home. He was always so independent and happy doing his own thing. I didn't feel like he needed me to be there all the time. At this very moment, I'm just so grateful that he is in Paradise with my Mom and all who he loves on the other side. Whatever was difficult or disappointing, now it doesn't even matter.

Thank you all for being my friends and family. Life is precious. I've got to do better.



2 comments:

cindy said...

I’m so glad I can leave a comment now. Thanks for filling in all the details about your dad. It really did happen so suddenly, and it was heartbreaking to read about how he was so sad at the end. I also thought about what a joyful reunion it must have been with your mom. I hope you’re not still feeling guilt about not doing more, because you have done so much over so much time. From the time that your parents moved up to Bremerton, to him moving in with you in Utah, you were always there. You’ve always been a good, loving daughter. Both of your parents are so proud of you. Love you!

Jessica Daly said...

I think you do a really good job. I’m glad comments are working for you again. I think you’re a really good writer. I’m looking forward to seeing all of you. I think the graveside service is a perfect fit to honor his wishes and give everyone an opportunity to process and have closure. I’m so grateful for our relationship. Love you so much.