Fred's the best

Yesterday when I got home from work at about 4:45, my Dad had just left to get a pedicure. I immediately said "let's go get something to eat". Fred said OK. That is one thing that has changed with Dad living with us, I do feel obligated to cook when I get home from work except on Fridays. Dad knows it's our date night. Anyway it had to be quick because I had a 6:30 massage appointment. For some reason I was the one doing most of the talking so instead of it being a quick meal it went kind of long so I asked Fred to drop me off and to come back to pick me up. I told him to be at least 5 or 10 minutes early so he would be waiting for me so I said 6:50 or 6:55 PM. He dropped me off about 6:15ish.

Went in got my massage. As we were finishing up the massage, it hit me. Hour massage - 7:30 - oh oh. It's 7:30. Fred's been out there since 6:50.......... It's over 100 degrees out there. The lobby door is locked. I pay, dash out the door down the hall out the lobby door and see him in the car. I run to the car. He is sitting there a bit flushed. Yes he has been sitting there for 40 minutes. Oh - he did go out for a walk. He had sent me a text after waiting about 10 minutes. Then 15 minutes later he called me. Well you know, you turn your phone off when you get a massage.

He wasn't mad. He was just hot and had endured a great discomfort so his spoiled wife wouldn't have to wait for him to come pick her up. I still feel so rotten about it. I'm such a brat. Why was I thinking that I didn't want to have to wait for him to come pick me up? I've apologized like 27 times so far. He did say I owe him.

I complain way too much about Fred's piles and how long it is taking him to get the office and garage organized, but when I think about how he serves and sacrifices for me, his parents, my Dad and all he has done for our children I'm ashamed of myself. I can't think of anything that I do that begins to measure up to all that Fred does for others.

Fred is such a good man. He is so patient and kind with me even when I don't deserve it.

I'm so grateful he puts up with me. Especially days like yesterday.

4th of July & beyond

For the 4th of July we took a trip up to Corinne's. 

We started off with a trip to Toad's.

It's an arcade/amusement type place.

We started out in the indoor golf

Here is Spencer.

Garrett not golfing, but climbing. 

Grandpa Fred

Mommy Corinne

Grandpa Burke - Love the neon lights!

This is Corinne, my Dad and me.

This is Richard - just home from Scout Camp. He had a good time. 

Mr Henry

The boys were on this ride that gives you the motion of being in the race car.

Richard always has the best expressions. He is actually having a great time, but you wouldn't know that by his face. 

See......

Again........

Corinne's ward meets at 1:00. It was fast Sunday and these two boys fast. Richard is 12 and Garrett is 9. I am very impressed. I really did not hear either one complain at all. 

It is always fascinating for me to watch this family of boys. The way boys play and interact with each other. Once I grasped that boys are just boys and they are just the way they are. I get it.

Spencer spent the morning with this camera and my I pod. I suppose all children are adept at electronics, but since I'm not around them I have no sense of reference. BUT I was so impressed with how he maneuvered automatically without restraint. 

Grandpa Fred is always found in the midst of the boys. He is such a good grandpa.

I pretty much sat there and took pictures.

We took a walk down to their garden spot in their neighborhood.

Ben and Richard walked in their neighborhood to collect fast offereings.

After church, Fred wanted to take pictures of the family. We really need a good picture to hang on our wall at home. I have to post all of these pictures because it is just fun to watch the progression. 

Monday morning, Corinne made arrangements for my Dad to walk in their 4th of July parade. This is our hangout. It was hot. I live where it's hot, but I still can't stand to just be in it. I stay in the air conditioned places. So as soon as my Dad walked by Fred and I left. Thank goodness Dad was #10.

He passed by so quickly, that I barely got out of my chair and couldn't get my phone open to get a picture. These were taken by Fred.

I actually wore a hat.

We brought Richard and Garrett back to St. George with us for the rest of the week.

I went to work and Fred has grandson duty. I feed them dinner and Fred does everything else.

Grandpa Burke took Richard to the temple one evening to do Baptisms. I did comb Richard's hair. Richard likes to wear it messy. He is such a handsome boy. All of Corinne's boys are. 

I wouldn't say Richard was jumping for joy to go, but my Dad was really glad Richard was there to walk him through. The temple workers weren't helpful at all. Richard knew what was going on. 

This is a good age for the boys to be here with us. They are easy to feed and have liked what I have made. I'm really so thankful that Fred is so good to find things to do with the boys. 

I like to observe. I admit it. But maybe that's because they are boys. I don't do boy things.....

Movies and eating and a board game here and there are about all I'm good for. 

It's been a really good visit. 

Bremerton Visit

It has been three years almost to the day since we have been back to Bremerton.

I have honestly been afraid to go back. I have pretty much had such a longing for my life there that I was afraid I would truly not want to come back here. 

I can pretty much tell you that not a single Sunday has gone by that I have not sat in church and wished I was still in Silverdale First ward where everyone knows me and I know them and when I open my mouth I felt safe to speak and that people appreciated my input. 

Every Sunday is a reminder of what I had and what I was and what I am no longer.

I'm not completely ashamed to admit that I realize I got my self worth and value from the callings that I served in and that I felt needed. 

So that pretty much sums up my emotional dependence on Bremerton. 

I definitely miss my church life. 

Now back to the visit.

I expected to feel an overwhelming feeling of coming home the minute we arrived at the airport. 

I have felt that way before. 

Not an iota.

This is what welcomed us.

Between the clouds and rain and trees, everything felt small and enclosing.

Not that that's is bad, but it is the COMPLETE opposite of what we have been living in.

Everything was familiar, but it felt like an out of body experience.

I have never felt so strange. Still can't identify the feeling.

I didn't take many pictures. It was like I was ready to close that book.

We did drive by the kid's elementary school. It was closed before we moved, but they actually demolished the main building. That was strange.  

 Definitely an improvement rather than looking at a deserted boarded up building.

 We really only had one particular place we wanted to go eat at and that was Noah's Ark. 

Fred thinks their hamburgers are pretty special. The other place we ate at was Taco Time.

I know lame, but Taco Time in Utah is disgusting. It's not the same product. The food is awful and the restaurants are kind of grimy. So I so enjoyed my chicken taco salad. 

 I really wanted to go to the Mall and see the changes, but time really did go by quickly. Shopping in St. George is pretty awful. We did, however, drive around this new mall out in Silverdale. It looks promising.

What happened for me with this visit was liberating. All my fears have been put to rest. It is all good. 

I don't mean anything negative by what I am saying. I so needed to be let free of my longing to go back and feeling like moving to St. George was a mistake. I have honestly felt that way. 

Coming back for this visit was just what I needed. I don't exactly know what happened, but I really didn't feel anything. Of course, seeing everyone was so wonderful. Felt like I haven't skipped a beat with anyone. But I was so ready to come home. Yes I could actually say come home. 

I think the timing of everything was just right. Now that my Dad is here living with us, it feels right to close that chapter in my life. 

When I was sitting in church this Sunday, it was the first time I didn't go to that place in my head where I was wishing I was in my ward "back home". My other hang up is in Relief Society. Always feeling like I need to make an earth shattering comment to change someone's life. Like I used to have that kind of influence (I know, me and my big girl pants) anyway, Sunday as I sat there I didn't have that urgent feeling anymore. I thought to myself it's okay to just be here. I don't have to call attention to myself. To be someone, to prove myself. Just be. 

It's hard to explain. But it's different. It's good.